Seriously?

Last week I was driving Tatertot to "daycare". All was right in the world, the sun was shining, it wasn't too hot yet (yeah, it was one of those stupid 100 degree days last week), as evidenced by the fact that there were lots of joggers out and about.

I like joggers. More specifically, I like male joggers who like to jog bare-chested. Can I get an Amen?

Anyway, so it was a nice morning. And Tatertot was in a decent mood, too, which is always a bonus. Especially since this was the one day a week that she spends at Aunt P's house. I don't know what her deal is (since, as P put it, "This is the house of Tatertot worship!") but she screams and cries "Noooooo!!!!" when she realizes we're going P's directions instead of toward the Sitter. She's also been known to do a more subdued, quiet, but consistent, "no-no-no-no-no-no-no," as well, which is certainly more funny. But that day she was kind of OK with it.

So we're driving, I'm sight-seeing, enjoying the joggers... We pull up behind one of them, he's youngish, maybe 20 or so, shaved head, wearing a racerback tank and shorts, jogging along. As we pass, he pauses by the bus stop to catch his breath. I continue to sneak glances in the rear view and couldn't help but notice as the school bus (!!) pulls up to the curb and he climbs in.

Yup. I feel dirty.

Psych!

Wow. So you all actually thought I'd stick around and, like, write stuff didn't you. Suckers!!

No, really, I'm back. But things got kinda crazy last weekend, so here's the breakdown:

Friday nite: the family arrives. By family, I mean G-ma & G-pa, E & D and 4 kids. Sleeping arrangements are made. Valium is taken, wine is drunk. The first part of the deck (by the back door) is completed, and dad and I are working on the picnic table when the gang arrives back from skating (which I totally skipped out on).

Then things got realz. A.k.a., the hard liquor came out in the form of a Mango Mojito frozen drink bucket. It was gone in about an hour and a half.

La Polar Bear Nikita

Saturday: Hangover begins with a trip to the zoo: 5 kids and 4 adults. Oy. But we all survived, so yay us! Tatertot really liked the monkeys - she kept saying oo-oo-ah-ah and giggling. We also saw the polar bear, Nikita (am I the only one who expects the bear to go all ninja and pull out a gun or something?), and otters and pandas and kangaroos. The tigers made me sad till I saw the picture of the new enclosure they're building for them and realized they plan to feed them live children. (No really, the rendering clearly showed children lying next to the tigers while adults sat at nearby cafe tables sipping espresso and lattes. I can't wait - it looks wicked cool! I mean, who doesn't enjoy a good mauling over coffee?) *

So after about an hour and a half of that craziness we gave up and headed back to the house for lunch. After lunch, the other adults took the older kids to Kaleidoscope & Science City while Tatertot had a nap and dad, J, R & I built a deck! w00t!

That evening: BLOCK PARTY! Woohoo! There was food & bouncy houses & live music (way better than the drum circles I remember from my youth - not that I really remember much from that time). And more slushy drink buckets!! Yum!

Sunday: More Hangover Fun (TM)! No really, I don't think anybody got all that drunk. Although you wouldn't know it just from looking at the pix. B should really not be allowed to have a phone/camera anywhere on her person when there's that much liquor involved. Case in point: **

Holy exploding hot dog, Batman, I think we might be a little drunk.

Since the adults were hungover and had bribed the children with promises of greasy breakfast for good behavior, we did what any self-respecting family of drunks might do and went to Mama's for breakfast.


Finally, FINALLY, everybody left. Except the deck builders, but that was ok, cause we still had deck to build, yo! Which we did. For the rest of the day. With only a few more trips to the Home Depot (it's not a real project till you've made at least 3 trips, them's the rules).

And since you've all been waiting so patiently, here's the finished product:

TADA!!

'K, so now that we're all caught up, I'm gonna go drink some more. I gotta bunch of left over slushy buckets calling my name...




* I really wish I had taken a photo of the fancy sign with this picture on it. I kid you not, in that drawing there were children in the enclosure playing with the tigers.

** To quote J: "Look how big my boobs look in that picture!"